The Thieves, The Function Room

About Venue

The Thieves is a multi-level entertainment pub on Lavender Gardens in Battersea, just a short walk from Clapham Junction station, and one of South London's most genuinely original event spaces.

Reopened in late 2025 following a full renovation, the venue sits across three floors and leans fully into its identity as an adult playground. The main bar has been stripped back to show off the original Victorian brickwork and glazed walls, with velvet seating, chandeliers, and a backlit bar creating a warm and slightly theatrical atmosphere throughout. Upstairs, the Arcade is its own world entirely, home to the Moonshine Raceway 10-seater racing circuit, a wide mix of retro and modern games, interactive darts, and a DJ setup. Downstairs, the Karaoke Room delivers a private, intimate experience for groups who want to be a bit loud. Outside, a covered garden with festoon lighting works year-round as a relaxed, quieter overflow.

The Thieves is a really strong choice for birthday parties, team socials, hen and stag dos, corporate events, Christmas parties, and larger celebrations that need more than just a room. With six distinct hireable spaces ranging from 25 to 550 guests, it can scale to suit almost any group size or occasion. Food is provided by Lucky Chip, a popular burger franchise with set buffet menus from £19.90 per head and bespoke options available. Drink tokens (Standard £7.50 or Premium £10), prosecco and wine packages, beer and cider buckets, arrival drinks, and spirit bottles are all available to pre-arrange across every space.

Clapham Junction is 0.3 miles away, with excellent connections across South London and into central London. Free on-street parking is available on Lavender Gardens and paid parking is nearby. The ground floor and function room are accessible with an accessible toilet on-site, though the Arcade and Karaoke Room are not step-free.

About this space:

The Function Room at The Thieves is a fully private, self-contained event space at 51 Lavender Gardens in Battersea.

This is a seriously well-equipped room. Exposed brick walls, neon tube lighting, and RGB colour-changing event lighting give it a flexible atmosphere that can shift from a bright daytime meeting to an immersive evening party with very little effort. The room has its own private bar, private toilets, a raised stage, a club-grade Martin Audio sound system, a projector, and a mounted flatscreen TV, making it equally suited to presentations, private dinners, comedy nights, quiz events, product launches, and late-night celebrations. There is no fixed furniture, so the layout can be shaped entirely around the event. It is fully accessible with direct access to an accessible toilet. During the day it works really well for team-building sessions, company updates, and meetings with tea, coffee, and lunch from Lucky Chip available. Come evening, the lighting and sound setup bring out a completely different side of the space.

- Fully private room with private bar and private toilets
- Raised stage
- Martin Audio club-grade sound system
- RGB colour-changing event lighting
- Projector and screen
- Mounted flatscreen TV
- Play your own music
- No fixed furniture (fully flexible layout)
- Fully accessible, direct access to accessible toilet
- WiFi
- In-house catering by Lucky Chip (set buffet menus from £19.90 per head, bespoke options available)
- Drink tokens available: Standard £7.50 (house spirit, wine, beer, soft drink) or Premium £10 (double spirit, Laine pint, Guinness, prosecco, select cocktails)
- Arrival drinks from £6.50 per glass (prosecco, Laine pint, cocktails) up to £13.50 (Laurent-Perrier Rosé)
- Prosecco and wine packages: house prosecco from £100 for 3 bottles; Laurent-Perrier Champagne from £180 for 3 bottles
- Beer and cider buckets: from £35 for 6, £80 for 15 (Heineken, Desperados, Sol, Brixton, Old Mout)
- Spirit bottles available: 70cl from £120 (Smirnoff Black, Tanqueray 10, Kraken, Buffalo Trace, etc), Grey Goose £150
- Low/no alcohol options available (Guinness 0.0%, Lucky Saint, Old Mout 0.0%)
- In-house catering by Lucky Chip (set buffet menus from £19.50 per head, bespoke options available)
- Paid on-street parking on Lavender Gardens
- Minimum spend from £200 (varies by day, from £1,500 on Saturdays)

Contact us to check availability, book this space, or discover other rooms that could be right for your event.